غَـضَـبْ (anger);

Across cultures, I bet most of us (if not all of us) come from a background where culture looks negatively to the issue of anger, and encourages individuals to suppress their anger and substitute that for self control, instead. The dilemma is, would anger be a sin? If so, why it comes naturally at times? If not a sin, then why it is viewed negatively?
Fast forward to our modern times, where psychology thrives and with the abundance of the self-proclaimed psychologists, we often encounter the so-called "anger management" treatments, as if anger is actually a disease or a syndrome of some sort. Is it really so? Now, what about those who suppress their anger most of the time; don't they deserve a treatment as well for putting up with the stupidity of life, trying to keep their nerves in check at all times?
I'm pretty sure that the answer is not a black-and-white scheme. Anger must be a necessity of life if it is there by nature, somehow.
What inspired me to make this shot is a domestic incident, which made me question everything about my life lately. I didn't go berserk with shouting as much as I did in that incident for quite some time; maybe since my 20s. Yet, looking back, I justify for myself, and in other times, I do not. Am I not killing a part of me with every incident where I keep anger buried inside? On the other hand, and to me this is one important question, why do some people believe that they are always doing the right thing regardless of my feelings, and when I'm angry, I become the villain? That can't be fair, is it?
In a sense, it does sound like slavery of sorts, and no escape but through anger and lashing out; because already, many personas died inside (hence the falling burned matchsticks).
An old Arabic adage says: "Beware the clement when angry"; and I say: Understand the angry one, and don't judge before you know...

#anger #angry #angst #emotion #emotional #matchsticks #red #wrath #stilllife #still_life #goodmorning

جَـلْـدُ الْـذّات (self flagellation)

Since the text is long and doesn't fit the limit on Pixelfed, you can read the full text here: https://cara.app/post/6ffeba5a-8142-4fe8-b826-ef2ccbc18f8b


#self #reflect #reflection #shadow #shade #match #matchsticks #stilllife #still-life #miniature #blame #goodmorning

Loneliness - Behind The Scenes;

For the past 2 weeks I've posted successive results without talking much or posting about the trials or behind the scenes shots and such; namely for "Introversion" and "Loneliness".
The fact is, the two shots that I've posted in the past 2 weeks are for the same set and I didn't change anything in the set except the camera position and perspective. So, for this post, I'm posting trials from the perspective that I've used for the latter shot, "Loneliness".
You can see here from these shots (which are not processed or adjusted much except maybe for the exposure a bit) how the background where I pin the matchsticks is covered in holes - such a lengthy work needed at the end of the day to fix those in PS. I've taken many shots here but I'm just displaying 4 of them. Each one is different in some aspect regarding the shadows (and some did have undesired flare to them). During the trials, I was reluctant to whether make the shadows point towards or away from the single matchstick on the box, until I've finally decided to let them point towards the box, as shadows in this manner would (or supposed to) keep the eye of the observer within the frame and not wander out or expecting something out, and in some way act as a focus-driving element to that single match on the box. All trials were done with f/16 and I didn't find it necessary to try out lower f-numbers (that is, to reduce the focus on other elements in the image by reducing the depth of field).

#behindthescenes #stilllife #still_life #project #match #matchsticks #tryouts #goodmorning

وَحْـدَةٌ (loneliness);

Not far off from introversion, lies there the concept of "loneliness". Like its cousin (or rather sister), introversion, people quite often misunderstand "loneliness" by imagining it is when people don't find someone to be with, and once this is solved, the problem vanishes. Unfortunately, though, the problem is more complex than that. Loneliness can take many forms, under various circumstances, and reasoning.
Some psychologists do call "loneliness" a pandemic; one that had been going on for the big part of our modern societies (yet, one which cannot be vaccinated against). Even though it is everywhere, but probably you can see its clear signs in some specific places and societies (e.g. Japan, where terms like "Hikikomori" were coined). However, for the big part, its signs are not visible to the naked eye. For one, it is there even deep inside those individuals who can be marked as "extroverts" and are leading their lives from one party to another, from one wedding to another. What makes them "lonely" you may ask, I'll say for the major part, they lost connection, or don't know how to connect, or simply, can't find a purpose or a reason to connect to anyone. It's a matter of "relating" to someone else, probably. I'll leave the rest for psychologists to decide the reasons behind such loneliness within individuals.
One of the best sayings, in my opinion, that describe loneliness, is something quoted from the late Robin Williams, where he said something along the lines of "What's worse than being lonely, is to be with people who make you feel lonelier". I believe for the most part of our lives, this is the main cause for what we identify with as "loneliness"…

#lonely #loneliness #alone #stilllife #still_life #match #matchsticks #miniature #one #only #goodmorning

إِنْـطِـواءْ (introversion)

Among all the psychological schemes that describe behavior, I'd argue that introversion is the one that is the most misunderstood or misinterpreted; at least by the public domain I'd say.
Commonly, people imagine introvert people as those who just don't like to be around others much, or find their joy when being alone, or even shy. While all of that do have some truth in it, but it's not all the truth there is to be.
Introverts still yearn for that social connection - they can still go out and even party, but their "social battery" is just short-lived. They are picky when it comes to whom they connect with, because the wrong connection can easily cause their battery to be depleted. Now, imagine such individuals being in a social circle which has no connection at all - definitely, there is no way to recharge their batteries; Such batteries which are essential to let them feel good about themselves and that they are not going in this life alone, fighting all the invisible beasts of this life on their own. For this reason, I'd say, most introverts are mistaken to be loners or lonely people. For the majority of cases, they are indeed so, because they can't find the proper connection they are yearning for. The world feels, to them, just a jungle with roaring animals without any meaningful aim or purpose but to show the power and might of each one of them. Thus, the nutshell tightens as the time ticks away off their lives.
The next time you see a loner or seemingly a lonely person, check them out, as they might just be some introverts who lost connections to the outside world, and might need help to find one, before their batteries die out - like me…

#introversion #introvert #lonely #loner #alone #behavior #psyche #psychology #match #matches #matchsticks #goodmorning

إِرْهـاقْ (Burnout)

Typically, when it comes to "burnout," we come to think about the humdrum of life and the duties and the obligations that we are shackled to. Yet, there exists another type of burnout; The burnout from people. In such burnouts, you try your best to be the best version of yourself - you try to help, you try to advise, you try to teach, to love, to… to… to…, just to find yourself standing there alone among people who understand nothing about what you are doing, or how you feel - all they know is how to judge you and that you must comply to their ideas. Prolonged exposure to such environment is definitely to leave one exhausted, and burned out, and numb at some point; as if they don't exist, but they live.

Technicality: One quick simple shot that I thought of, and this time I shot it using my modified camera, and 50mm lens, fitted with B+W 092 infrared filter. I was actually hoping to get more colors since the threshold of this filter is low (~650nm) which means it should allow some color in, but that didn't happen exactly as I've envisioned it. Since the light is coming solely from the burning match, I didn't use any speedlites here, and I think it is just about enough for the dramatic effect in the circle of darkness around the set. One side of me think this is too simple and should have more to it, and one side says it is minimal and perfect the way it is; I'll leave it for others to judge. Worth noting that last year (I think?) I made a shot (long exposure one) of a burning candle with the same title, and using a chessboard as a prop. However, I didn't quite like that shot much for some reason.

#stilllife #still_life #surreal #surrealism #infrared #IR #infrarot #infrarouge #burnout #burning #burned #burnt #match #matchsticks #minimal #minimalist #minimalism #goodmorning

Unrequited Love; V2, V3.

A continuation of last week's post. After doing that shot, I thought "Why didn't I make it like how I started the series, with a minimal look from top?". Playing around with composition, I've arrived at these two. I kind of like V3 because the shadows show the curvature of the broken matchstick clearly, but that shadow is also "eating" a portion of the rose, and probably I would need to put on extra effort here to eliminate that shadow alone separate from the matchsticks. Version 2 wasn't quite appealing because of the direction of the shadows here, despite the clear illumination of the rose.
So, in comparison to the first version that I've posted last week, I think I'd still stick to the original, first version, but who knows - I might revisit this later on (now, I'm trying to work on a new idea, and ASAP!).

#goodmorning #match #matchsticks #love #miniature #minimal #minimalist #minimalism #concept #conceptual #stilllife #still_life

حُـبٌّ غَـيْـرُ مُـتَـبـادَلٍ (unrequited love)

In my culture, there goes a proverb and saying, that goes something like: Who wants us, the soul is exhausted trying to accept, and whom we want, the luck is exhausted trying to bring it on (to us). I think when I was younger I didn't quite understand the meaning of this saying, until I've finally joined the game of relationships around my 20s. I'm well beyond my 40 now, and all these failed attempts to love and be loved are still hovering around in the memory lane of my mind, and the question is still unanswered: Where did I go wrong? Why did I go wrong? What did go wrong?
Whatever the case is, I guess all I can do by now is to wish, for all of those that didn't reciprocate, the best in life, with their new families, and offspring; to the best of my ability, as a man who had some love for them in my heart once upon a time, sincerely. One thing was to be realized in the end, that I was always an option, a stop, and not a choice…

I think I'll keep the technical stuff for next week maybe when I post versions of this shot. Hopefully.

#love #relationships #matchsticks #sticks #match #stilllife #still_life #miniature #goodmorning

خُـذْلانْ (disappointment)

I saw them as my life that to be; those who will be there for me until my last breath. They would have my back, and my hand. They would share the laughter and the sobs. Now, I look into the mirror, and I can see how wrong was I for assuming all of that. Standing here alone, looking back at my dreams, and memories, with them, and how lonely was I left to lick my own wounds. I guess this is what they call the "Pollyanna effect"; seeing positivity where none exists.

Technicality: A quick idea done in the spur of the moment (and I couldn't even find a better mirror!). Made with 50mm (though I wanted to use 35mm but the field of view wouldn't serve me well here). I didn't spend much time on it, but two shots were taken at f/11 and then combined in edit. I'm guessing by next Friday I won't be posting much about the test shots for this one, but we'll see.

#disappoint #disappointment #matches #matchsticks #mirror #reflect #reflection #thoughts #pollyanna #stilllife #still_life #miniature #surreal #surrealism #goodmorning

Wishes - Collage

A continuation for my post last Friday, as usual, this is a collage of test shots that I've made during the make of this shot. I've tried a number of f-stops for varying shallow depth of field looks. The images here, of course, are unedited and purely out of camera; the original one posted last Friday was edited and enhanced (well, to some extent I suppose).
For the final result, I've settled for f/5.6, but I think f/4 was also good (and maybe even better for the idea as I've envisioned it first). Strangely, though, f/11 was not as sharp as I was expecting it to be, as there is a bit of blur in the background and the matchsticks at the back. This particular setting was shot with the new 35mm lens and without using any extension tube, so it was a bit weird to have such softness at f/11. However, the image I had in mind needed a shallow depth of field so it definitely needed something less than f/8.

#match #matchsticks #wish #wishes #collage #comparison #stilllife #still-life #goodmorning

أَمـانـي (wishes)

I'm posting this one without a description. I'll leave it for you.

#wish #wishes #dream #family #match #matchsticks #project #goodmorning

Outcast - Collage

So, in relation to my post last Friday, and as I usually do, I'd post some test shots or trials in the making of the main shot. This time, though, I'm doing it a bit differently, by posting a collage of a sequence of shots. These 10 shots were shot successively for the duration of the burning of the matchsticks, until the flame was gone. These shots here were edited in terms of basic exposure adjustments and maybe white balance, but nothing else; compared to the original shot that I've posted last week, which was heavily edited to equalize the light levels as well as remove the burn marks (which was almost a disaster!) that you can see here on the left of the matchsticks. These burn marks in the foam were caused by the mini-torch or flame I've used to light the matchsticks all at once.

#collage #outcast #trial #matches #matchsticks #fire #burn #burning #sequence #goodmorning

Emotional Damage, V2, V3.

As usual, with every other Friday, I'd like to post some test shots that were done to create the post from previous Friday. This time though I have two shots. Typically, I don't like posting two shots, but of course there must be some exceptions somewhere, right?
Here, in the first shot, V2, I've used f/2 (not much difference to the original one which was shot at f/1.8). However, it seems that I've skipped looking at this one before of the shadow or dark areas from the corner and my focus was on brightening everything (in fact, I've used a variable ND filter to use flashes with low f-number). Now that I look at it, I think this one could be a candidate too for its dark atmosphere, sort of. Also, there is a touch of light on the tip of the standing matchstick which makes it pronounced more and getting further attention. The thing here, though, is the area of transitioning from dark to light, which pronounces the texture of the surface of the foam as well; something that would take even longer time to work with and fix in PS.

Then we have V3. which is my least favorite one, for a number of reasons, but I'm including it in this post just to see how it would look like if the set was shot using high f-number (f/11 here) and making the depth of field greater to get everything in the image sharp. Surely enough, the story is lacking here and not much drama is added. The standing matchstick shadow is even shorter, and the overall orientation of the heart is not quite "in harmony" (feels going off the image instead of into the image).

So, this is all for now - I'm still trying to find more time to shoot some other projects and still having a block!

#matches #matchsticks #love #emotional #emotions #damage #stilllife #still-life #V2 #V3 #version2 #version3 #goodmorning

ضَـرَرٌ مَـعْـنَـوِيّ (emotional damage);

So, for this week's "side project" post, as the title suggests, it is about all these issues in life that are shattering our subconscious (or unconscious) mind, and that struggle to grow out of these and to start a new life, a new self. All these broken pieces of memories and experiences in the background clutter the heart and the mind, and disturb the character and the psyche altogether. It was a funny meme and catchphrase in Steven He's video and meme, but "emotional damage," I'd argue, is nevertheless a serious issue for many, and many got their path in life rendered impossible or going around in circles, because of such issues that shattered their security and self-image.

The configuration here was shot using a shallow depth of field (f/1.8) to drop the background out of focus as much as possible and keep the main matchstick standing (let's say, our hero). Despite that, though, and because the camera was tilted and not completely vertical over the set, there is a portion of the set that went slightly into focus; somewhat like the effect of a tilt-shift lens. The broken matchstick resembles that individual with broken heart and mind, and that long shadow is piercing out of these broken memories in the background, as a trial to overcome all these broken pieces from the past, to start a new life.
I did make some test shots using a greater depth of field, and I might see if I can post them by next Friday, as usual. Have a nice day!

EMOOOOSHENAL DAAMEJ!!

#stilllife #still_life #emotional #emotionaldamage #damage #project #matches #matchsticks #minimal #minimalism #minimalistic #goodmorning

Emotional Baggage V2.0;

As I do in every other Friday, I'd try to post another version of the shot I've posted the Friday before; just for comparison. Now, while the one posted last week didn't have a strong minimal touch to it, the 2nd version here seems to have it. However, I'm not sure if I like the complete simplicity here, as the shadows in the first version (in the lower half of the image) kind of provided some dynamics to the image, or drama so to say. Yet, I do like this version as well for its "cleanliness" and simple terms. Also notice that the first version was actually flipped horizontally for some reasons I've mentioned in my post last Friday.
This said, I'm working on a new item in this series, and I think I've actually finished it already, but I'm also considering redoing the whole thing. We'll see till next Friday!

#emotional #emotions #baggage #stilllife #still_life #matches #match #matchsticks #feelings #V2 #goodmorning

مَـتـاعٌ عـاطِـفِـيٌّ (emotional baggage);

It's Friday! Time for something from my "side project" (which I hope I can keep on doing with all the hurdles in my life already). So, the topic of this one as the title shows, emotional baggage, and what would be better than a heart to express the emotional side of things? Please tell me you see a heart there? (Please? ).
I had some hard time pondering about how to depict this, and I've tried making a heart-shape with the sticks but I failed miserably many times. Finally, I've found some discarded piece of rubber and crudely cut out a heart shape and used it as a mold. Tried to perfect the shape further in PS, but it was nearly impossible; this said, I made little adjustments to enhance the shape. Made many shots (and I might post one more of them next week), and I've finally settled on this one for the direction of the shadows in general. Originally, the image was flipped the opposite way, but I've made it this way later just because, well, to let things flow from right to left kinda, as this is the way we read Arabic actually.
I leave interpreting the image for the dear viewer. I guess, this concept is not weird at all for most people (if not all people). It is closely related to the concept of "burden" which I've made a shot about some weeks ago, but let's say, the concept of "emotional baggage" is just the "emotional" side of this burden which we drag on from one relationship to another (or even stop having relationships because of it). The shadows at the bottom of the image is a mimic for the dark side to which one would walk into with such baggage, and the burned matchstick is a symbol of a burned out mind and body because of all of the failing experiences in the past. Now, all that is left for us to think about is, what kind of scissors that would cut that thread and free us…

#stilllife #still_life #matches #matchsticks #emotional #emotionalbaggage #baggage #reflect #reflection #feelings #goodmorning

إِصْـرْ (burden);

Well well well, 3 days of "vacation" passed already and I've almost got used to it and forgot to post here! We had some drama during this vacation so, it's like I needed more days. Sorry for not checking your amazing art folks, but hopefully I'll catch up soon.
Anyway, here is a shot I've made in the last week of 2024, and posting it now. The idea is about the "unnecessary" burden that we (or, most of us) might carry on our shoulders from the culture, the community, or family, as we go on in this life. The burden is not necessarily enforced, I'd argue, but sometimes it is just how we believe things should be for some issues in this life based on what or how our environment shaped us when we were younger. So, we keep on carrying that burden and drag it all along however messy it can get. Sometimes, the burden can be, simply put, a trauma or a negative experience, that we just can't or try so hard for years, to get rid of.
Technically now, I've decided to shoot this one with my macro 100mm lens instead of my usual 50mm, and the composition, well, definitely not a minimal one. Putting the whole thing in style of the previous shots probably would make it lose dimension and depth, and because of the structure itself, I had to put the camera in a lower level to get a glimpse of the carrying matchstick.

#stilllife #still-life #burden #miniature #impression #impressionism #impressionist #sticks #matchsticks #goodmorning