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#nickandcharlie

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29th finished book of the year: Solitaire by Alice Oseman

4 ⭐️ - The dark undercurrent of the book is balanced by the high relatability of the experience of not really understanding yourself as a teenager. 

Having experienced the English public school system for myself, I can attest to the accuracy of this book. Tori (our MC) is very much in the midst of the malaise that comes from feeling like an awkward outsider. Her closest relationships are with her brothers and her best friend, the former who she’s ride-or-die for, and the latter who she seems to hang out with out of habit alone. 

Having decided to read my way through the ‘Osemanverse’ after already reading all of the Heartstopper webcomic, I was already familiar with the Wednesday Adams-esque figure who despite a sardonic streak and a dark expression to the outer world, cares very deeply about those close to her. The nicest thing about this novel (first written by Oseman at the age of 17) is how much of an insight it gives into what is going through Tori’s head during parts of Heartstopper. Instead of being just a background character, stomper of bullies, and constant drink holder, she becomes a a fleshed out and troubled human.

Depression and a general lack of self understanding is an overriding theme, and because of this Tori isn’t an instantly likeable character. She’s often bored, thinks a lot of things are stupid, and resists being interested in anything, really. Yet my heart hurt for her, empathising with that experience of not really knowing who you are at that age. The accuracy of this surely comes from Oseman’s age when writing it, but the tenderness shown to depictions of self-harm, eating disorders, and particularly how difficult it can be for those who care while suffering themselves shows, as with her other works, a lot of time and thought put in to depicting things compassionately while remaining authentic. 

It’s not a cheery book all the time, dealing with obsession, drama, and danger - but it has some really beautiful and bright moments - a complicated, but very good read. 

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