Trying to find my people on Mastodon. Please boost and follow me if you:
-Believe that cheesecake is a right, not a privilege.
-Mentally greet each bird you see just in case they are telepathic.
-Think that cruise ships are too heavy to float and refuse to listen anytime someone attempts to explain the physics of it to you.
-Don't see why the government can't criminalize "It's just a prank bro" Youtube videos.
-Want inanimate objects with googly eyes to be eligible to run for president.
@lowqualityfacts what the hell dude? that post was awesome!
@lowqualityfacts I don't really understand how buses, famously much longer vehicles than cars, can go round corners. If that counts for anything.
@teahands @lowqualityfacts: Insanely short turning circles. I'm guessing it's a function of the suspension, because I've frequently got really pissed off at how wide the turning circle is on my current car compared to my older one.
@teahands @lowqualityfacts It has something to do with the world appearing to be flat, when in fact it is really just Hyper - Möbius strip wall paper on a Tesseract's wall. Flat-Earthers refuse to accept this simple mathematical reality.
Read the Parabola of The Cheesecake by Saint Ezekiel-Terrestrial
@JPK_elmediat @lowqualityfacts Now this I can understand.
@lowqualityfacts Wait, there are people on Mastodon?
@lowqualityfacts to be clear only baked cheesecake counts
The ship is still lighter than all the water it pushes away (and fills with air). How can that be hard to understand?
@niclas@angrytoday.com I am sorry you are angry. Unfortunately the cause is not the confluence of external forces you believe it to be.
I am afraid it is an internal matter. The symptoms are clear: a self-manufactured allergy to whimsy, regular conniptions, irony deficiency.
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
@lowqualityfacts do all have to apply to boost or can i boost if only some apply
@lowqualityfacts pretty much yes on all of those..
It would be far better if the government went the extra mile and criminalized all social media “influencers”
“But this ship can’t sink!”
“She is made of iron sir. I assure you she can.”
“Well Mr. Ismay I do believe you may get your headlines.”
@lowqualityfacts volume determines buoyancy, not weight. If the object takes up enough space, it floats, no matter how heavy it is.
@lowqualityfacts unine luck
@lowqualityfacts
I verbally greet each bird I see just in case they aren't telepathic :/
(See also bees, spiders, and various bugs)
@lowqualityfacts ships don't float. It's just that the water sinks faster than they do.
@lowqualityfacts They already do.
@lowqualityfacts you had me at cheesecake
@lowqualityfacts As long as you’ll back me up on, “Listen, officer—if a monkey can drive a spaceship, then my dog can drive a car.”
@lowqualityfacts The birds you DON'T see are the ones you have to worry about.
@lowqualityfacts is that AND or OR? And are you expanding your bubble? Or is this just you, asking for more you?
@lowqualityfacts You so often find one thing I'm not really sure about...
@lowqualityfacts I've made it a habit for years to gauge what the weather will do by what birds are out. Also, keeping eyes on crows. I think they're one species "practicing" to take over our evolutionary niche if we hominids don't get our collective act together.
@lowqualityfacts
been trying to reply to this with an admittedly only tangentially related video for 2 days and... I don't think it's going to work.