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Juggling With Eggs

Are there any mothers out there who have cracked having a mentally stimulating job that pays a living wage, but is genuinely part time - no expectation of completing tasks in your own time to meet deadlines - therefore allowing you to be present for your kids?

I feel that I am in a downward spiral at the moment. I worked until 8.30pm tonight - I’m only paid until 2.30pm.

If you have cracked it, what industry do you work in?

I literally begged to come off a work call to feed my kids their dinner tonight. Then I went straight back to work and only stopped returning messages to my boss when I pointed out I needed to put the kids to bed.

My partner came home while I was cooking dinner, he then looked after the kids until bedtime. I am lucky to have a partner and yes, he’s my kid’s dad so it is part of his role to look after them…but I still feel like I’ve been a $hit parent while simultaneously being exploited. This doesn’t happen to this extent every night, but it does happen until 5pm regularly.

Quitting with no realistic prospect of finding a role in the field I love on part time hours seems a bad move.

What do I do?

@dasparky

Please do…I’m really open to ideas at the moment!

@JugglingWithEggs Father here, not a mother, but can identify. From our experience here, some (not all!) of it comes down to bosses - like does yours have kids?
We've been lucky to have jobs that have been flexible, and I went freelance, but changing job/approach depends on resources, experience, planning etc of course.
I'm assuming you're working remotely?

@scribe

My boss has grown up kids…she had them in the 90’s, but had extended family nearby to help. I only have elderly frail in-laws who live half an hour away.

When I work late it’s from home, but I’ve already been into the office and back 20 miles away.

Working freelance would mean consultancy and that’s not really my bag.

@JugglingWithEggs "I worked until 8.30pm tonight - I’m only paid until 2.30pm." feels like a big red warning flag in general - do you get TOIL or anything in return if you don't get overtime? If the org isn't serious about looking after you, I'd definitely be looking at exit plans. What industry are you in? Are you in contact with people in the same industry/field outside of the org at all?

@JugglingWithEggs I see jobs now and again for Library Assistants, which is what I'm looking to do. Entry level, most jobs are part-time, and no overtime. Might be rostered. The pay is low but the time is manageable. Not sure what the role might be called in your part of the world but I'm sure it'd exist.

@kristina

Library assistant roles are a thing here in the UK. My partner is a librarian in a university, so I’m quite familiar with that world!

He says I would be suited to working in a library and would be treated better. The pay would probably be less than what I get at the moment, but it’s not the money that motivates me.

I think I’ve always just seen it as too close to home!

@JugglingWithEggs Oh how funny. Sorry, I didn't realise you already knew all that! My apologies. I'm studying to be a librarian. :)

@JugglingWithEggs
You sound like you are being scammed by your boss. A legitimate company creates a part time role either to attract people who are unable to do full time work or because the role doesn't have enough hours to justify a FTE. In either case your boss is riding way over the mark. And there is no "complete tasks on your own time" ever for any reason unless you are explicitly doing piece work. Even for an FTE on a salary the extra hours have to be reasonable or a justifiable emergency. Their poor planning does not justify you working yourself to death.
That is not a good place to work and you need to be looking elsewhere for employment.
When I was young the parent company of the one I was working for went into receivership and I did 3 months of 100 hour weeks to keep our one paying project on target so everyone could get paid. I then sent the next 40 years of my career dealing with the health fallout from that time.

@JugglingWithEggs I would encourage you to read through your work contract carefully, as well as your state laws on OT pay. Then I would suggest taking a couple of days to draft an email to your employer outlining how many hours of unpaid work you have given the company and how that will stop immediately. /1

@JugglingWithEggs As long as you continue to hand your boss power that relegates you to beg to stop working so you can feed your kids, she will continue to take advantage of you. In the future, do not answer her calls or emails when you are home. If you do, make sure she knows you will be paid for OT. When you need to go, you tell her, "I will be hanging up in 5m so we will need to wrap this up now." /2

@JugglingWithEggs look up Bureau of Labor and Industry for your state. Unless you’re in a field with a loophole (and there aren’t many), not paying you is illegal. You should be able to turn in a written time card for every interruption, even if it’s 8 minutes here and 20 minutes there. You also need to line up coworkers who can be a reference for you if you end up leaving, because your boss will no doubt resent being told you need to be left alone or paid for your time.

@JugglingWithEggs Just a quick note, unless you're salaried, if you're only paid until 2:30 and they make you work until 8:30 then they owe you that money. It's wage theft and illegal even here in MO on the state level and at the federal level. Report to both!

EDITED - I see you're in the UK. I cannot imagine that being legal there either considering my impression that labor laws are so much more humane across the pond.

@KitAuthor

I live in the UK. The problem is that there is always an assumption that I’ll get the time back, but as each week passes it’s as busy as the next, so it’s very hard to. Also officially my company does not pay overtime.

@JugglingWithEggs Hmmm... sounds like a conversation might be in order and maybe a bit of research because that still sounds iffy. As others have said, what you're describing is the hallmark of a toxic work environment.

The question would be if it weren't for the unpaid hours, do you enjoy what you do and want to remain/be a part of that team? Or has your relationship with the company ruptured beyond repair? Your answer will help guide your next steps. Trust yourself and sending support.

@KitAuthor

I have my appraisal hopefully next week (it’s been postponed the past 2 weeks because things have been so hectic!). I am going to raise my concerns around working hours expectations. Most of the time my boss is reasonable so I hope she’ll listen, it’s the wider company I am not sure about.

@JugglingWithEggs @KitAuthor I say this with kindness: You claim your job pays you a living wage - but are you factoring in all your unpaid hours of work into your equation? A technically lower paying job in a library would probably still put you ahead of the financial game because there won't be wage theft going on. No idea how UK laws work for forced overtime, but I suspect you can call your local Dept of Labor/Employment and ask before your performance review.

@JugglingWithEggs

This type of abuse is why I was always a member of a union.

Folk are happy to say their union representative is 'useless' but when problems like this occur it helps to have the support of a union and access to their legal representatives if the situation turns truly sour.

As @alessa_ed suggested, I think your first port of call is your contract of employment. You have more than played your part as a conscientious employee, but it has gone beyond that into exploitation.

@JugglingWithEggs

I hope you've kept a record of all the time you are owed. If not, you could go through your e-mails etc which will show when you've worked beyond your hours. Surely they can't disagree with your claim if you have evidence?

There've been times in my working life when people would put up with almost anything, just to hang onto their job. I'm not so sure employers have the upper hand at the moment, though I suppose that varies by industry.

Good luck with the balancing act.