I said I would make a post earlier about the exclusion of trans men, both within the trans community and the LGBT community at large. In the future I intend to set up a blog and write proper essays with sources, references, etc to back up my ideas. But for now I’m just airing out my thoughts. Don’t take anything too seriously. I’m just thinking out loud.

The modern trans community has a serious problem when it comes to the visibility of trans men. I believe this issue lies partly in how much of modern trans discourse has become overtly politicized. This politicization takes the form of far-left populism.

Populism is a theoretically fickle thing to define. Broadly speaking, it is a form of politics that rests largely on social/cultural cues and justifies itself through identity politics to create a binary in-group/out-group mentality. It’s normally used in reference to far-right politics, but if you’re an old school liberal like me you will see it applied to far-left ideologies as well. It is not my intention to argue politics here; I just want to be clear about how I frame my perspective on this.

As I said, populism necessitates an in-group and an out-group to be effective. The in-group self concept is one of an oppressed community that is inherently legitimized in its beliefs and behaviors due whichever social metrics are taken to be true and qualifying. This self-identification of marginalization is binary and absolute, and comes from within the in-group itself. That being the case, the out-group is necessarily regarded as the oppressor.

According to large swathes of the trans/LGBT community, women, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender people, and nonbinary people are all part of the in-group. Keep in mind this is just from a political/populist standpoint–I’m not referring to gender or sexuality as social and personal identities, but rather in how they are turned into political signifiers.

The out-group is of course straight, cisgender people–primarily straight, cisgender men. This puts trans men in a difficult spot. Our status as trans people puts us in the in-group, but our manhood/malehood puts us in the out-group.

Populism trends toward extremes. In this case I am referring to extremist misandry. Men are firmly outside of the LGBT in-group, unless they posses certain caveats such as being gay, bi, ace, trans, etc, which puts them back into the in-group.

Even still, the LGBT community is uncomfortable with traditional manhood. I believe this is why we have seen such a stark rise in the emasculation of trans rhetoric.

Trans femininity and trans women are celebrated and encouraged. Trans masculinity is not afforded the same treatment, particularly with regard to trans men. Our masculinity and malehood is diminished so that it may be more palatable. We are infantilized, so that our manliness is softened into boyish qualities. The terminology we use that explicitly establishes our association to men and maleness has been overruled by generalized umbrella terms like “transmasc” or “queer”, which provide plausible deniability toward our identities as men. (I have nothing against transmasc people or identities; I simply disagree that it is appropriate to lump transmasc people and trans men under the same ontological banner).

I have been in real-life social settings where people who are very aware of my identity as a trans man will go on to decry men, say how terrible men are, etc. But of course, I don’t count. Because I am not like the “real” men from the out-group. I’m trans; my masculinity is different, it’s other-ed, it’s subversive.

But as soon as our transitions reach their stride and we pass as male, the more we resemble the out-group. The better and safer we’re able to assimilate into manhood, our positions within the in-group become uncertain.

I am a binary, bisexual, stealth trans man in a straight relationship. I do not feel that the mainstream LGBT or trans communities reflect my needs, beliefs, or concerns. For all intents and purposes, I might as well be a heterosexual, cisgender man. And in truth–that was the goal of my transition (and a side effect of marrying a woman, lol). But achieving that goal cost me my place in the larger trans community, as it no longer serves to represent people like me, too.

I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds. There is no place for my manhood/maleness in the trans community, and there is no place for my trans identity in the cisgendered, general society.

That’s it for now. I’m interested to see whether anyone else feels the same.

ETA a couple of notes:

• I think this stuff can be expanded upon into a discussion on the schism between trans people who intend on subverting/abolishing gender roles, and those who seek to assimilate into them. I’ll write that eventually too.

• I would also add that another forced term on trans men, like transmasc and queer, would be AFAB which puts us in the same league as women, nonbinary people (transmasc or otherwise, i.e. totally disconnected from masculinity).