mstdn.social is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
A general-purpose Mastodon server with a 500 character limit. All languages are welcome.

Administered by:

Server stats:

12K
active users

#psoriaticarthritis

0 posts0 participants0 posts today

For several years, since I was experiencing a severe mental health crisis, I have been diagnosed with several different diagnoses. Some of them raise questions for me, while others are very obvious to me in my daily life. One of the first was "Intermittent Explosive Disorder." After several instances of aggression, self-harm, and severe physical confrontations, I went to a psychiatric hospital emergency room for help. After several months of diagnostic interviews, nothing was clear, and various possibilities were speculated about, including Borderline Personality Disorder. One day, I urgently asked to be admitted for fear of ending up killing someone or taking my own life. After almost two years, I had a mixed diagnosis of "Bipolar Syndrome." Apparently, the episodes of explosive disorder were confused with manic episodes and perhaps "something else."
The wrong medication (antidepressants) aggravated the bipolar syndrome, generating a permanent hypomanic state with unexplained outbursts of aggression. Things became clearer when I evaluated my post-traumatic stress disorder due to physical and psychological abuse in childhood and several extreme experiences at work and in dangerous situations, which I found myself entangled in due to my manic tendency to disdain danger. A diagnosis of high intellectual ability also came into play, resulting in a ton of tests I took for months.
Then I abandoned therapy and moved far away with my current wife. I lived a fairly stable, albeit difficult, life. Until I met an autistic hacker online and began to identify with everything he was going through, and I began to research.
Then, in 2018, my granddaughter was born, and in 2020 she was diagnosed with autism, along with my daughter. I then had no doubts, and in 2022 I received my diagnosis (I couldn't get it before because of the pandemic).
Although the picture is much clearer, I still see areas and aspects where symptoms and traits from all those diagnoses intersect and blend together. They all have traits and symptoms in common, and it's almost impossible to tell which one is which.
What is clear is that it is a double exceptionality (or triple, according to some), where Giftedness, Autism, and Bipolar Disorder are combined. It's not easy to juggle those three things and autoimmune diseases because often what improves one thing aggravates another, or medications like levothyroxine or corticosteroids have side effects that worsen autistic traits or mental symptoms.
One of the things that can seriously deregulate me is excessive stimulation, whether sensory or internal mental. That is, the sounds, smells, and stimuli of the environment or my own thoughts, which sometimes feel like a herd of wild horses or a track full of Formula 1 cars. The accelerated thinking of hypomania, combined with excessive stimulation, can be a ticking time bomb in my brain. If I don't explode into an aggressive outburst or a meltdown, it will surely be an implosion, with a tremendous surge of antibodies and a general inflammatory autoimmune storm in which I have to battle digestive issues, insomnia, extreme tinnitus, joint pain throughout my body, and of course, depression and brain fog.
A few days of very frugal and careful eating, much more meditation than usual, solitude, silence, and a bit of digital disconnection usually calm these storms. But honestly, I'd rather duel with ten police officers and come home with fingernail paint on my fingers, or at least die fighting, than have to go through autoimmune flares every time I lose control or become severely dysregulated.
Living is quite unbearable sometimes.
@actuallyautistic

Wasn't able to sleep until 2am this night, because of pain. In my legs, rib cage and facial joints. Plus problems breathing from my allergies. Finally, after taking a third tramadol, which almost never do, and lying on my acupuncture mat I was able to sleep a couple of hours. When I woke at four I could go back to sleep again on my heat pad.
I just can't figure out the reason behind the horrible pain in the muscles in my right leg. It is not normal.
#chronicpain #psoriaticarthritis .

I had a nice afternoon plein air painting with an art friend. Just a couple of sketches, nothing mind blowing. I had three ducks that followed me and fell asleep in front of me. They were adorable. I didn’t stay close to them because of bird flu reasons (and I washed/disinfected my shoes before I stepped in the house) but I did take a video and picture.

Having a little achey in the wrists from moving all the furniture. Minor but noticeable.
#psoriaticarthritis

On my way to the water physio. I made the dress, from a thrifted double bed sheet, and vintage lace. All of it I think, from Mölndals secondhand, a cheap, and very good charity shop near where I live. My friend and neighbour Anna knit the shawl. I have some fake flowers around my braided bun, to look more spring like
On the bus now, wishing the teenagers wouldn't smoke just before getting on the bus, it clogs up my wind pipes.
#physiotherapy #psoriaticarthritis #chronicpain #memadeclothes #allergies
Yesterday turned out to both a good day and one of my worst days .
I slept too little on my camping cot, because apparently it is too painful for my arthritic body these days.
My lecture on 12th century fashion went well, and I had a good chat with friends. Then after lunch we started making feast, and it was a horrible experience: the head cook got so bad back pain that he couldn't communicate the recipes OR what we should do and in what order. He had also underestimated the work needed disastrously. I, who wasn't to do much physical work on site ended up working very hard, on my feet, for four hours, before I just had to step out. With my autism I also couldn't handle the brain stress. Good people stepped up, and we got good, but I will NEVER cook feast again . I managed to get a ride home with a friend, and when I got home I started shaking from pain and stress, and almost wasn't able brush my teeth even
On the good part I got to see my dear friend Alfhild become baroness of Gotvik, I took a new apprentice, and I had a very good time with friends after feast.
#sca #medievalcooking #psoriaticarthritis, #autism