Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>Fun Fact - When the mass from an infinite number of donkeys causes the donkeys to collapse into themselves, it’s called an ass hole.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
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#nerlingersjokes
3 posts · 1 participant · 0 posts today
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>He’s eating our pets!</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/caturday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>caturday</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>memes</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>This meeting could have been an email that I deleted and reported as spam</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>My favorite place to eat is the kitchen. The atmosphere in the dining room is a bit too uppity for me. I always feel like I show up underdressed.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>My fashion statement today says clearance rack at the discount clothing store. </p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>I always boost and favorite my own jokes because if I don’t, who will? 🤷</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>I wanted to make an authentic Philippine style chicken caldereta but I didn’t have any sharp chards of chicken bones so I smashed a bottle of banana ketchup and used that instead.<br><a href="https://beige.party/tags/food" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>food</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>Thanks to the expression “a watched pot never boils”, I now have to clean the stove top too. 😡</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>All the aggravated and angry people in this world can be trace back to one cause, the kinked garden hose. 🤬</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>Fun Fact - “Autocorrect” was actually created as “Autoincorrect” but the marketing people changed the name.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>I want to know why the best night of the week for sleeping with the windows open always falls on trash night 🤬</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>How many fingers do you really need to make homemade fireworks anyway, I said to myself </p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/MissedConnections" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>MissedConnections</span></a> - you were in the front row at the Metallica Tribute Band concert singing along with the fake James Hetfield. I was a roadie and tripped over an extension cord onstage. I fell into fake Lars Ulrich’s base drum sending it rolling across the stage. I saw a tear in your eye when the band angrily walked off stage and you were told no refunds.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>Them: If you could choose to have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would it be?</p><p>Me: Can I choose to just eat my dinner in peace without having to entertain some celebrity?</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>The Dalai Lama should marry Dolly Parton just to screw with everyone </p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/MissedConnections" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>MissedConnections</span></a> - You were in the unisex dressing room at Walmart between the ladies lingerie and the men’s sleepwear sections, trying on a pair of granny panties. I was about to try on a pair of tube socks. You locked the door but I thought it was just stuck. I wasn’t able to get your phone number before store security dragged me away.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/sponsorablepost" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sponsorablepost</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/MissedConnections" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>MissedConnections</span></a> - You were having your passport photo taken at Walgreens. I was in the cosmetics section, in my car, after having it in drive instead of reverse, my foot slipping off the break onto the gas and crashing through the storefront’s window. You looked pretty.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/sponsorablepost" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sponsorablepost</span></a><br><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>That voicemail you left about the text you sent could have been an email </p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>I asked for the house wine, so the kitchen staff came out and complained about their working conditions </p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
Stanley Nerdlinger II<p>I’ve found that I’ve vastly underestimated the worst case scenario.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nerlingersjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nerlingersjokes</span></a></p>
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