I'm getting a lot of mail and email about FoC (I particularly liked the postcard which read 'We were *sure* it was the wallpaper, you bastard!!!!!'). I'm glad to say that most Baconians hared off after poissons rouge.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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University of Magic's worst student,
Danger followed him wherever he went.
"My life," Rincewind thought,
"Is hellishly fraught.
Death seems to be ever imminent!"

#WizardlySongsPoemsOrLimericks
#HashTagGames #SpeakHisName

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal sized billiard balls.

Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

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This one also deserves a lot more airtime.

‘Can’t do that,’ he said, ‘ ‘cause of happy ass. The sergeant told me all about it. Happy ass. Happy ass corp ass. Means you can’t just lock somebody away if they haven’t broken the law. Happy ass corp ass. It’s all written down. Happy ass corp ass,’ he repeated helpfully.

Preston complying, as we all should. In I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett
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My favourite Terry Pratchett quote is one I never see quoted.

'You asked why I am strong? When I lived in the dark of the forge, I used to lift weights. The tongs at first, and then the little hammer and then the biggest hammer, and then one day I could lift the anvil. That was a good day. It was a little freedom.’ ‘Why was it so important to lift the anvil?’ ‘I was chained to the anvil.'

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

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It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the wrong place and *guess who's back*? They returned more times than raw broccoli.

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

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Most alchemists were nervous, in any case; it came from not knowing what the crucible of bubbling stuff they were experimenting with was going to do next.

Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

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"All bastards are bastards, but some bastards is *bastards*."

Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

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"I know she's in there," said Verence, holding his crown in his hands in the famous Ai-Senor-Mexican-Bandits-Have-Raided-Our-Village position.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

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"Nah," he said, eventually. "I've looked at the colours on flowers. They're definitely built-in."

Terry Pratchett, Diggers

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People whose concept of ancient history is the first series of Star Trek may be treated with patience, because it's usually not their fault they were reduced to getting their education from school.

Terry Pratchett, alt.books.pratchett

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LB: No Estoi muerta

"I can bite your leg if you like."

Gaspode the wonder dog
Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

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Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu-- was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

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As castles went, this one looked as though it could be taken by a small squad of not very efficient soldiers. For defence, putting a blanket over your head might be marginally safer.

Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

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"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."

The Four Horsemen of the Apocralypse encounterunexpected difficulties
Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

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