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#oversharing

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A new-ish friend told me recently that when she first met me she was startled by my "honesty", it put her off at first, then she decided she liked it and we got to be good mates.

That struck me as odd because isn't honest a desirable trait? Upon contemplation, I think whatever she is talking about turns a lot of people off, but it draws certain types of people.

I think it's actually that I overshare. But I'm not sure if that's something I can or should try to stop doing, nor how to achieve that!
I have no idea what hashtags would be appropriate..
#oversharing ? Lol

Continued thread

#Autismus kann so sein:
Du wirst gefragt:“Wie geht es dir?“
Du bleibst stumm, weil du erstmal überlegen musst. Schließlich gibt es so viele Einflüsse auf dein Wohlbefinden…und aktuelle Messwerte/ Laborergebnisse liegen dir nicht vor. Oder du antwortest ehrlich und damit ausführlich- andere nennen das #Oversharing .Du bist in ihren Augen unhöflich und egozentrisch- auch weil du selbst nur Leute „wie geht’s?“ fragst, deren Antwort dich auch ehrlich interessiert. #ActuallyAutistic

Now we are in low orbit around Christmas Day itself, I realise how I am slightly dreading it, since everything has changed in my life since last Christmas.

Encapsulated in that sentence is the power of the Christmas tradition: it makes us think back and compare, joining this year to the long line of Christmases in our past.

It interests me how all traditions like this are a kind of reified continuity. A way of manifesting the passage of time in the world, in a way we can hold on to and share. Continuity in community, or maybe the other way around.

So I do not dread Christmas: the important change is the fracturing and remaking of my familial community, which is most evident in the times of family tradition. A change that requires work.

Replied in thread

@douglasvb To make it all more awkward, my spouse died almost five years ago, a fact that was communicated to this friend at the time in a message that other friends took note of and responded to, so I'm not quite sure exactly what's going on. But we had drifted apart over the years anyway, so it's not worth it to me to do anything more than recycle the card every year when it comes. #oversharing

Continued thread

Just for a bit of context, I spent two years aged 15-17 on a broad spectrum antibiotic. It's only recently that I've correlated this with changing from a happy kid to the start of a lifetime of depression and anxiety. Ok, there are other factors at play such as teenageritis, my parents divorcing, my first love and her leaving me etc, but I'm having a go at this microbiome thing because I can't undo the rest.

I am pleading with A Certain Kind Of Person:

Not being #neurotypical doesn't make you annoying. You aren't an inherently, medically-designated irritant. You might have trouble controlling your enthusiasm or emotions, or #oversharing or not picking up social cues, but none of that makes you annoying. People should absolutely try to make allowances.

You're annoying entirely in your own right, and no-one needs to allow for *that*.