In many #AsianFamilies - the #GuiltTrips are used & abused to try to shame people like me & my immediate family from speaking out. They prefer to keep being abusive without anyone knowing that they are inhumane bigots. Too fucking bad that I won't tow their lies/bullshittery & won't be quiet about their hypocrisy & bigotry towards marginalized people. They forgot how they were part the fucking marginalized population too.
I'm going to say right here that many full #vegan folks use #GuiltTrips to try to get #omnivores like me to go full vegan. I actually tried that for 6 months & ended up in ER. My system isn't built to be full vegan. My health improved when I went on full traditional diets. Same with every single one of my Indigenous friends. I want vegan folks to stop telling us WTF to eat. When most of those folks aren't even food security self sufficient. Fucking ignorant, #colonialism behaviours.
So you’re thinking about not spending time with your #ToxicFamily this #Christmas, #Hanukkah, #Festivus, #Atheist, but still enjoy a Christmas tree, etc., this year. Good on you!
Before settling in for a long winter’s nap in your kerchief or cap, I suggest the following:
1. Gird your loins – whatever this means to you. Meditation, medication, primal screams, working out, making time to do nothing, extra dog walks, watching the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice or Throw Momma from the Train on endless repeat. Again, whatever works for you.
2. Let the least toxic family member know you’re sitting this year out.
3. Mute phone contacts who are #enablers and/or #FlyingMonkeys for the apex #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic in anticipation of rolling #GuiltTrips, #shame, #balme and other #manipulation.
4. If you struggle with guilt and #obligation, #RealityTest x 100. Remember, choosing to opt out of abuse, drama and holiday histrionics isn’t wrong. Seriously, you're not doing anything wrong! You’re exercising healthy #boundaries and practicing #SelfCare.
As an adult, you get to choose what’s best for you. It is your responsibility to yourself.
Besides, opting out of holiday visits gives #NPD/ #BPD/ #HPD parent, sibling, etc., fresh #ProfessionalVictim™ material. And let’s face, they’re going to victim it up whether you visit or not.
And, since they love nothing more than a nice new juicy tale of victimhood, your absence is the best gift you can give them!
In other words, "You’re welcome, mom and/or dad!"
