GayDeceiver<p>Feeling sleepy? Tired of dealing with unmanly yawning? Eagle Tactical introduces Grindcore Carnage! Each 8 oz can contains 800 MG* of caffeine wakefulness! You'll kick sleepiness in the nads each time you drink Grindcore Carnage!</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a> </p><p>*More than 1 drink a day may cause seizures, cardiac arrest, or aneurysms. For gods' sake, consult your physician before taking this drink!</p>
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#EagleTactical
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GayDeceiver<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://beige.party/@the_etrain" class="u-url mention">@<span>the_etrain</span></a></span> That's an <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a> product right there ...</p>
GayDeceiver<p>Eagle Tactical proudly presents Hermes Cards, for when your manly man man manlines got you in hot water and you must say, "Sorry I Lost My Shit Like That" or any other occasion with flowery feminized “feels” language!</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Inspired by Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House, Eagle Tactical presents the He Shed Awesome Mancave, a custom-made Kevlar shed built for the manly man of manliness who needs a sanctuary for his testosterone-overfilled soul. No icky women will be able to tolerate the sheer masculine musk that emanates from your new lair, your kingdom, your manor.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>OPERATION TITAN GRIP from Eagle Tactical – Engineered for warriors with precision needs. This elite-grade self-pleasure device delivers a vice-like, tactical fit for maximum combat efficiency. No man left behind—every soldier deserves the ultimate R&R. Mission ready. Are you?</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Eaten too much cheese? Unable to do your business? Pipes clogged beyond compare? Eagle Tactical’s Laxator Maximus will ensure your Alphaness is able to have those super manly bowel movements that make you the top of the heap. You will be a new man!</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
Currently Clean On OPSEC<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mstdn.social/@GayDeceiver" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>GayDeceiver</span></a></span> </p><p>Lipo suction life extended efficiently recycles your own calories faster than a cannibal carnivore. Once your belly is refilled with belly, slap a maXXX absorber pad on the wound and keep on trucking.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>The manly man of manliness who loves the outdoors and living on the edge, Eagle Tactical presents Meatwear, the new edible undergarments for the man of action. These underoos provide all the nutrional needs for Alpha males in need of emergency energy outdoors. </p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p><p>Inspired by: <a href="https://mstdn.social/@qurlyjoe/114155791044189225" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">mstdn.social/@qurlyjoe/1141557</span><span class="invisible">91044189225</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mstdn.social/@qurlyjoe" class="u-url mention">@<span>qurlyjoe</span></a></span> oh man … I feel an <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a> moment</p>
GayDeceiver<p>Want to up your game in the boudoir, you alpha male of manly man manliness? Add to your bedroom sexy time with the new Hercules Tactical Men Pasties! Infused with UltraSensa adhesive, they will make your nipples extra sensitive, enhancing your pleasure. Paired with the Pheronomal Mood Tassels (sold separately), you will get an unforgettable night of pleasure with or without a love partner. </p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>[Scene: Women wearing sexy negligee on a bed, hitting a bearded bubba with pillows]</p><p>The Hypnos Feather Cranial Support Sacks ... making your fantasies come true.</p><p>*** Eagle Screech ***</p><p>[Eagle Tactical logo]</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://aus.social/@whybird" class="u-url mention">@<span>whybird</span></a></span> Unable to get restful sleep at night, worry no more! Eagle Tactical presents the the Hypnos Feather Cranial Support Sacks. No mere pillow, the Hypnos will support your brain case with the toughest Eagletech treated Kevlar feathers, giving insomnia and discomfort a roundhouse kick to the head.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Unable to get restful sleep at night, worry no more! Eagle Tactical presents the the Hypnos Feather Cranial Support Sacks. No mere pillow, the Hypnos will support your brain case with the toughest Eagletech treated Kevlar feathers, giving insomnia and discomfort a roundhouse kick to the head.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p><p>Thanks to <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://aus.social/@whybird" class="u-url mention">@<span>whybird</span></a></span> for the inspiration!</p>
GayDeceiver<p>Eagle Tactical, in partnership with Tesla, is proud to introduce it's special edition Ultracybertruck, fueled by electricity and male vibes. Become a true man of manly manliness by buying one of the 100 specially made symbols of utter brohood. Kick expectations in the keister and truly embrace your alphaness!</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Tired of trying to get your new venture off the ground and being stopped by female energy? Unable to keep in shape because you gotta tend to your woman? Come to Eagle Tactical's Garuda Asian Retreat, where you can grow your venture and your fitness in a environment made exclusively of male energy and positivity. No female energy allowed! Become the god among men you're meant to be.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Tired of chaffing underwear? Your bits and pieces uncomfortably trapped in substandard fabric? Eagle Tactical's Ultraman is the answer! The testosterone-infused, silky kevlar ultra minimalist thongs will not only keep you cool and comfortable, but ensure women find you utterly irresistible. </p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Eagle Tactical is proud to introduce its Macho Man of Manly Manliness Meals. These meals, scientifically researched and cooked to perfection by men for men. These ready to eat wonders are guaranteed to have testosterone levels illegal in 15 nations and lethal to most female organisms. "Finally, a meal delivery service for real men."</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
GayDeceiver<p>Eagle Tactical is proud to introduce the Man Cave, fhe ultimate underground bunker for the alpha males of maleness who live their manliest manly man man lives and are ready for the Apocalypse. Each Man Cave is fully equipped with provisions for 8 people for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
okanogen VerminEnemyFromWithin<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mstdn.social/@edwilk" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>edwilk</span></a></span> <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.coffee/@TidalFlats" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>TidalFlats</span></a></span> <br>Is this <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a>?</p>
GayDeceiver<p>Tired of being mocked for your political affiliation? Desperate to keep your family from the woke agenda? Eagle Tactical Patriot Specs are the answer! These scientifically tested and personally calibrated electronic beauties will block out anything your Alphaness deems offensive and supplant it with the most patriotic images in the world. Buy one today!</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/EagleTactical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>EagleTactical</span></a></p>
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