Setbacks are an inevitable part of life! Yay, who doesn’t love a good obstacle course in the game of life, right? It’s like a mandatory detour on the road to success, a road that’s jammed with traffic far worse than Bengaluru. At least with Bengaluru traffic, you’ll definitely get home, even if it’s a couple of hours late. But with setbacks, it feels like everything is over… No future! No point! … Thoughts grow darker by the minute.

This is how I dealt with a setback earlier…

I started my week on a high—driven, confident, in charge, meeting deadlines, brimming with ideas, convincing people, and finding balance in life… I felt unstoppable! It had been a long time since I’d felt this way, especially not for three days in a row.

But then came Thursday, promises broken, people questioning me, making tough choices, feeling let down, clients not onboarding with us, hypocrisy, and waiting for the green light on the other side… self-doubt. It felt like someone had burst my balloon of positivity. It didn’t take long for me to revert to my old anxious, bitter self, with no hope and no motivation. Once again, I found myself relinquishing control of my emotions to others and becoming the victim of circumstances.

Determined not to go back to my old ways, I took a few minutes break in-between my work to…

1. Write down MY thoughts

Writing down the things that made me feel this way helped in acknowledging and accepting my emotions, as well as organizing my thoughts. I allowed myself to experience these emotions without judgment. My brain felt lighter… almost as if the problems were no longer mine, but belonged to the piece of paper on which I wrote them. This helped in parking my emotions so I could get back to focusing on my work and other commitments for the day.

2. Focus on What I Can Control:

When faced with setbacks, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by feelings of powerlessness. Instead of dwelling on things that were beyond my control, I refocused on what I can influence and took proactive steps to address the situation, whether it’s talking to myself, re-evaluating my approach, seeking help, etc…

3. Be Kind To Myself

It’s very easy for me to show empathy and compassion for other peoples problem, even when it’s not needed. But it’s always so difficult to show myself that same compassion. I had to talk to myself with the same compassion and understanding that I would offer to a friend facing similar challenges. Initially when I had started, it used to be very awkward but now I am getting used to it. It does spark a small light of hope inside of me and stops me from spiralling back into the darkness. Remember that setbacks are a natural part of life, and they don’t diminish your worth or potential.

4. Set Realistic Goals: Celebrate Milestones

After experiencing a setback, re-evaluating my goals/objective to set achievable goals helped in more realistic expectations. This goes a long way to regain my momentum. Breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, simplifies your approach and helps in staying motivated and focused on your progress. Finally, don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your resilience and determination. Take the time to acknowledge your achievements and pat yourself on the back for your perseverance.

5. Seeking Support

Sometime you need tough love and sometimes you need the encouragement. Reaching out for support from my friends and family, helps me get more perspectives on the situation and more importantly realise that I AM NOT ALONE!

6. Setback = Learning Experience

Rahul Dravid had said long time back.. If you win great! If you lose you learn! Being very competitive I never got what he said untill recent.. Losing is horrible! Taking time to reflect and ask myself if I could heave said or done something different. If its about somebody else’s behaviour then I use a simple mantra… It’s their problem tell them, and if you cant then it’s mine that I need to work on. Every setback is an opportunity for growth and learning.

7. Keep at it: Confidence Does not come in a day

Practice makes perfect doesn’t just work for developing a skill. Just showing up day after day and being there for yourself helps in building positive habits by building your coping skills, developing a positive mindset, and fostering a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. Thereby making you more resilient. Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity stronger than before. I was always strong but now I am working towards becoming resilient!

My Formula Now To Become Resilient:

Life rarely goes according to plan, like the saying goes… God laughs at your plans. Change is the only constant in life. Being open and adapting to changing circumstances, will help embrace uncertainties and set backs. Setbacks and failures will start becoming an opportunity for growth and exploration, rather than a source of fear or anxiety.

Reflecting on your own experiences, what strategies have helped you bounce back from setbacks? Please do share your thoughts in the comments below!

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