@undefined_variable sanojen häviäminen on tuskastuttavaa. Mulla häviää samaa tahtia sanat kuin olo tulee kuormittuneemmaksi, ja se tapahtuu usein. Ennen sain ilmaistua itseäni kirjoittamalla parhaiten, nyt se linja on tukkiutunut ehkä 70% ja on hyvin hankalaa tuottaa millään lailla mitään tunteita ulos, vaikka tuntuukin etten muutenkaan oikeen tunne tai tunnista tunteita, vain hyviä tai pahoja oloja #ActuallyAutistic
I'm probably tempting fate but after 7 days of severe brain fog — so severe that for a few days I felt like a passenger trapped in a me sized, remote controlled cyborg.
Rethinking my allergic reaction as it's still going strong (gave up my 1 a day Matcha(=caffeine) habit just over a week ago). Though as I type this, it dawns that this might be the cause of my severe brain fog / disembodiment.
It's good to finally be getting back to feeling human or wherever I'm supposed to be.
It feels good to finally have enough dice / spoons / focus / energy / dilithium / micro-blackholes to interact with the fediverse again.
Also about Autism Acceptance Month: @stimpunks has a great list of articles about how you can be an ally not only in April but all year round:
https://stimpunks.org/2023/04/01/how-to-be-an-ally-during-autism-acceptance-month/
I know I've posted in the autism-related hashtags a few times in the last hour. I'm not used to posting so much (will stop now) – I just thought this information is timely to share with April coming soon. Consider it an infodump / penguin pebbling! 
I think the core of anxiety relief is developing trust in yourself that you can handle situations, even bad situations. Trusting you will be able to get through it.
With #AutismAcceptanceMonth near: reject Autism Speaks' blue puzzle piece propaganda, ableist lies, and neurotypical voices talking over us. Listen to #ActuallyAutistic voices:
• Reject AS: https://autisticmama.com/do-not-support-autism-speaks/ (CW: discussion of ableism)
• AS and the Judge Rotenberg Center: https://www.autistichoya.com/2013/11/an-unholy-alliance-autism-speaks-and.html (CW: discussion of ableism, torture, murder)
• Don't "light it up blue": https://www.meriahnichols.com/light-it-up-blue-is-bad-this-is-why/
• Go #RedInstead: https://learnfromautistics.com/wear-redinstead-on-autism-acceptance-day/
If my body insists on being awake at this hour, it’s at least nice to be able to catch up on fun and refreshing things instead of having to drag myself through getting ready for another weekday repeat.
As I continue my journey of self-discovery and unmasking, I’m connecting dots that I’m certain should have been obvious. No one can expect 80% of workdays spent in meetings will be productive. But after months of this pattern, I find myself waking up at some point and having months of email to dredge from my inbox. And crashing each night around 8pm.hibernating through weekends. Survival mode.
Burnout mustn’t be a lifestyle.
... I mean, okay, it's deeply disturbing to me, but it's not what I want to talk about.
What I'm talking about is when I see people I like and follow for whom this person is clearly a dear friend.
This is, obviously, a me problem, and a very #ActuallyAutistic one.
But.
What am I supposed to do here? I mark their accounts with a warning and ignore the problem. Sooner or later I'm likely to say the wrong thing, and then what?
Gaaah. This is supposed to be somewhat of a safe space for me.
Here's something that as an #ActuallyAutistic person I find disturbing.
Sometimes I encounter people here that appear to think I'm an evil bastard that deserves the worst. From a practical point of view it doesn't matter if they are a gaslighting sociopath; or confused, well-meaning and over-zealous; or we just have a misunderstanding and they are highly strung. I'm not going to be able to talk to these people, so I mark the account with a comment and block.
That's not the disturbing bit.
Why do I always fear that my phone will still play my music on its speakers after I've connected my headphones, and I won't notice because the headphones blocks out?
It has never happened. Why would it.
#PhantastikPrompts 29.03. Warst du jemals auf einer Buchmesse oder ähnlichem? Was würdest du empfehlen?
Ja, BuchmesseCon, NordCon und UniCon.
Sie sind alle nett, mit guten Ständen und Leuten.
Trotzdem gehe ich höchstens noch mal zum UniCon, wenn er denn wieder stattfindet, da dauert die Anreise 20 Minuten.
Das liegt aber an mir, ich tue mir Menschenmengen nicht mehr an. Ich werde davon wuschig im Kopf und kann es nicht genießen.
I'm sure that the satirical take of The Kinks on the staid British lifestyle -for example- A well respected man- was helpful for me in rejecting conventionality.
#Autism #autistic #neurodiverse @actuallyautistic #AutisticBurnout #ActuallyAutistic
For a long time I've wanted to write something about feeling lost, how it feels to live without a community, without a chosen family, in world increasingly hostile to everybody, but I haven't found the words to do so. I still haven't. Maybe the lack of words betrays the futility of pondering such conundrums.
In about 2000 my friend and his brother told me Adamski used to live on the council estate I lived on. I just listened to one of his songs so looked him up. It seems exceptionally unlikely. I never properly believed this, but at the time, kind of did.
This is the gullibility of autistic people.
#Autism #autistic #neurodiverse @actuallyautistic #AutisticBurnout #ActuallyAutistic
@baeuchle @Fuchskind heres a list in english https://autismsociety.org/childrens-book-list-learn-about-autism/
#actuallyAutistic
#IWatchTooMuchTV #ActuallyAutistc #actuallyautistic
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ah, the next episode had some famous critters, Chunk the groundhog, the shark lady. Gawd, I love her, showing such relationships with wild predators, reaching into their mouths to pull hooks out, the real world is closer to Snow White than it is to what some hammerhead sorts think. 
love getting the look where someone's wondering if I'm *ist because I recoiled from someone who happened to be of a particular group.
no I'm #ActuallyAutistic you dumb fuck. I recoil from pretty much everyone not my spouse equally, double for white men.
and I have a very firm concept of my personal space, and sitting next to someone else in a vehicle violated that space immediately.
If you missed my free public workshop about making the “I’m autistic conversation go better, the recording and transcript are now available for everyone:
https://www.autismchrysalis.com/2025/03/14/practical-tips-for-disclosing-your-autism/
As I’m 8800 miles from home I can’t go to my grandparents graves for the Chinese folk holiday (Qing Ming), but I’m reminded of how my extremely #ActuallyAutistic grandfather has a grave full of little clocks and watches and flash lights because ‘ah gong REALLY likes mechanical things and taking them apart’ so that’s what people bring to him, no flowers
#IWatchTooMuchTV #ActuallyAutistc #actuallyautistic
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nice bit here. How many times do we see sea lions fighting compared to it’s the first time I’ve seen this.
Autistic Coach 
