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In 1925, master carpenter Thor Bjørklund invented the ostehøvel. The ostehøvel is world famous (in Norway) and Norwegians think themselves quite clever for introducing such an ingenious device to the world (meaning Norway).

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@thor I remember as recently as the 80's of was impossible to find one of those in France. These days you can find them though

@loke In Norway, people just assume the whole world uses them, since how the fuck else would you make thin slices of cheese? In other countries, especially the United States, they have the guy behind the counter at the deli slice it for them, using some kind of machine, presumably. I mean, I don’t think you can cut thin slices line that with one of those cheese cutting strings.

@thor I think that's why they have cheese in a spray can over there.

Don't belive me? Look at this. And sorry for scaring you. amazon.com/Easy-Cheese-America

@loke Yeah, I’m aware of that. America has everything in a can though. I’m sure you can even find canned bread lol

@thor I think we've had them in Sweden since they were invented. I agree that life without them must be quite the struggle

@loke You have macka and we have smørbrød. The slices need to be kinda kinda unevenly thick or it just isn’t a proper open-ended sandwich, is it...

@loke ...and the bread should ideally be sliced right before you make it, and of course at the wrong angle so the slice of bread is uneven in thickness too...

@loke ...and then there is of course the special grip around the skorpa...

@thor of course. Over here, when I buy bread, they keep asking me if I want it sliced. Very annoying.

@thor well, that would be slang, for some reason I never liked that word and I use the more formal smörgås.

@loke It’s always like that with Norwegian words in Swedish. You always have them a slang or dialect words. It’s almost as if it’s intentional...

@thor actually I was referring to the Swedish word. I don't think we ever refer to the Norwegian one unless we specifically want to say it's a Norwegian style

@loke I thought you said smörbröd was slang in Swedish

@thor not that I know of
But now I need to check SAOB.

Apparently it has been used, but the example is from the 1700's: saob.se/artikel/?seek=sm%C3%B6

@loke Every Swede I’ve met seems to like to call it macka, so much so that I wasn’t even aware it was slang. Just thought it was, uh, “kökspråk”, like, very everyday informal language.

@thor @loke

I just call it "skivat bröd med [PÅLÄGG] som man äter"

@selea @thor does it have to be slice though? What about knäckebröd? Or some bun that you don't slice?

@loke

then it is "knäckebröd",
you dont call knäckebröd macka right? :S

@thor

@selea @loke If I spoke Swedish I’d not call it macka if it was knekkebrød... I always took it as 1:1 equal to smørbrød or brødskive, and this is my mental image of it

@selea @loke And in the 1980s it’d be a slice of kneipp 90% of the time, because that (and spiralloff) be the main bread available (well, it was that way here in Norway anyway), and if you wanted anything else, you’d bake it yourself

@thor

That's true - if it is knäckebröd it should not be called macka - just knäckebröd.

For me, "macka" is a soft-bread with butter/mayo/some greasy stuff and optional additional cheese, meat, veggies

@loke

@loke

But I must confess, I usually just eat the PÅLÄGG and skip the bread - because that's whats good

@thor

@loke @selea “brødskive” can refer to either a slice of bread or a smörgås, in Norwegian. I’d argue it’s even more common than smørbrød, which is more often found in constructs like “ostesmørbrød” (open-ended grilled cheese sandwich).

@selea @thor this had been an amazing discussion. Thank you fedi. But now it's bedtime here in the south east Asian neighbourhood

@loke

What do they call "skivat bröd med [PÅLÄGG] " in SEA?

@thor

@thor yeah, that's what it is. I don't think you'll find it in formal text though.

@cy Yeah, I assumed it would be a meat slicer. We just like to do it at home. Gives better control of the thickness too. You vary the angle of the slicer.

@cy @loke Oh, you know, those slots, we only use those for making thin slices of veggies. Good lord it would be awful to slice cheese with those...

@cy @loke If making pizza or lasagne, the side with the big holes *is* used for *grating* cheese though...

@thor @cy I kind pga doubt it's even possible. I think most people in the US believe that cheese has to be melted to eat it. Also, most things they call cheese are not allowed to be called that in the EU.

@loke @thor @cy we make regular cold cut sandwiches with cheese slices <.<

@loke @thor Oh it’s possible. There’s no gravity assist or leverage though. You just have to brace the grater against the counter in one hand, while pushing the block of cheese against it with the other, and also sliding it downward. It might have actually not been torture, if they didn’t make sure the slicers always have to be facing sideways, never upwards or downwards. Also… melted cheese… 🤢

@cy @loke It sounds inconvenient... Did you ever try an ostehøvel? I think they’re called “cheese slicer” in English...

@cy @loke The ostehøvel requires some technique but not a lot of force or bracing of things

@thor @loke I found one of those wire based cheese slicers at a secondhand store, but I think the wire is bent, or else it just takes more coordination than I have.

Usually I just use a knife.

@thor Damn... i would give everything for a bit of cheese right now, but sadly i have none at home anymore :(
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