i’m scarred in so many ways

mentally and physically

this better be worth it

“i should”

“it would be nice if”

bane of my existence

i’ll be 40 in 3 years. kinda feels like time is running out.

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i’m pretty much an idiot. i like to hang out here, a social network almost entirely devoid of cishet people. somewhat nerdy,
so a majority of girls will never go here. the ones i run into, i leave alone because hitting on them would be too basic. someone said this isn’t tinder. no, it isn’t, but one night stands isn’t my thing, and that’s what tinder is for. i guess in a perfect world, some nerdy/creative girl would dm me and say hi and we’d live happily ever after. will never happen tho.

one of the reasons i'm fairly convinced i'm not gay is this one time my gay friend described something about gay sex that he liked...

...and it was basically a turnoff to me.

penises, cum, etc... no... not hot to me. it's icky. nothing there at all that'd suggest i'm somehow gay.

when i hear disco, my ears tell me: this is clearly jazz designed for dancing.

granted, there isn't the free improvisation of real jazz, but...

it's dance jazz as far as i'm concerned.

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Save from a few non-musician afficionados, jazz is "musician's music"

It's a source from which musicians have been drawing their material since at least the 1920s.

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Talk to any musician, even Lady Gaga, and they'll tell you they took inspiration from jazz...

...any time I hear people say they don't like jazz, it's so tempting to tell them "Yes, you do, but musicians camouflage it, so you don't know you're listening to jazz."

Nile Rodgers' guitar sound is one of those things where, you've heard it so many times, and you like it, but you didn't realise it was all one guy...

...then you figure it out, and okay, you're a fan.

dad categorised the music i make as "fancy music" or "advanced music" and says he likes "simple music"

basically, avoid anything like a 7th or 9th chord and elaborate solos, and he's happy.

To me, you gotta have that. The harmonies need that "edge" for me to feel satisfied with the music.

my comedic take on coronavirus... made back in march (music video):


@byllgrim 's girlfriend, professional video editor, told me i'm good at editing, so got a little kick out of that...

when i post something i'm particularly proud of on soundcloud, "promoters" (people who use bots to give you artificially high hit counts on your songs) tend to contact me.

even though they're dishonest, there seems to be a certain core of honesty still... they see something that might benefit from a bit of artificial boosting...

i kinda, with a grain of salt, take it as a compliment.

they responded to this: soundcloud.com/the-thj/magical

sex, to a grown adult, is primarily:
- relief
- expression of love
- contact

it's not walking, dick first, drooling over women, trying to get them in your pants. it's a more secondary thing.

you need a leg to stand on, emotionally speaking.

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