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Old Soviet joke repurposed for 2025:
Several times daily, a woman opens a news website, glances at the screen, then closes it.
Her spouse, curious, asks what she's doing.
The woman explains she's looking for death notices.
The spouse says that the website only has headlines, not obituaries.
The woman replies, "Oh, the obituaries I'm praying for will be headlines."
@spaf Should we start listening for "Swan Lake" on the radio?
@spaf I'm reminded that Stalin collected Stalin jokes.
He had two gulags full of them.
@spaf https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSQ8tZ35t4U [TMBG's classic track When Will You Die. with cardboard monster hearse]
@spaf
I didn't remember that one until now !
Thanks a lot !
@spaf Similar one I heard once:
A group of Russians are waiting outside the store for the bread to be delivered. The line stretches for blocks and blocks. Finally, a man pulls out pistol and shouts "that's it! I'm going to kill that Khrushchev!" and goes off in a fury.
A couple hours later, the man comes back looking dejected. "What happened?", his friends ask.
"Line at the Kremlin was even longer!"
An old Jew comes to the newsstand every day, asks to see the newspaper "Pravda", reads the headlines on the first page, sighs heavily and gives it back to the seller.
After a while the seller asks: “And what do you want to read on the first page?”
- Obituary.
- But obituaries are published on the last page.
- The one I'm waiting for will be on the first.