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Please follow my backup account @randomthoughts , just in case I loose access to this one.

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Pronouns suck. Can we please like... entirely stop forcing people we barely know to choose a gender identity they want to reveal to us?

can’t we just say: yes, I have a gender, probably, but It’s non of your fucking business .... like unless you want to fuck me, why do you even care?

tbf to cishet men authors, i do wake up every morning, get in front of a mirror, and describe my tits to myself

sex 

I am ashamed of myself because I masturbate to the thought of women peeing in my mouth.

Maybe this feeling of shame is influencing my sexuality in general.

I am unsure about the state of my current romantic relationship.

Like... I really can not tell if we are still together, and I don't want to ask her.

I guess that kind of means we are broken up right now.

Basically I am single.

Sucks.

I don’t think we should mess around with space. We don’t need to be going out there looking at Martians and lasers n shit. We could just hang out here instead.

here's what I mean by 'unreality'

I posted Brian David Gilbert's short horror film "Earn 20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss" with an in-text-body content warning:

"EXTREME unreality cues/derealization triggers including digital media degradation artifacts and unsettling shifts in narration"

You can watch it here for a sense of what I mean: youtu.be/wbfu39l0kxg

What the editing, which is very good, does for this video is give a sense of rupture: the video-itself, as a digital medium, breaks up and corrupts. the medium-disruption is structurally akin to the onset of a psychotic episode, which in my experience can manifest as a heightening of already-existing visual artifacts (like the 'color noise' one sometimes sees in the dark) or the sense that things are 'out of sequence' β€” dΓ©jΓ  vu, for instance β€” or that one's environment is 'out of order' in a way that causes one to subconsciously seek out 'clues,' discordant pieces of information, that can escalate into a delusion.

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the existence of "wrestlemania" also implies the existence of "wrestledepression"

cat pic 

this used to be a bread basket

now it's a cat bed apparently

wish i knew more about computer so i could use it for pick up lines

like "hey baby, i wouldn't mind pulling your requests, if you know what i mean πŸ˜‰"

@cjd totally! just... write letters and call politicians to complain to them.

you can do that from home and it is more effective anyway.

the way people *talk about* their refusal to CW psychosis triggers (I'm thinking in particular about 'unreality') bothers me much more than the refusal itself. because I do think people have the right and the agency to say "no, I can't CW for that."

I've seen people react to the concept of content warning for 'unreality' by

1) refusing to think even a little bit about what specifically is being asked for ('I can't CW for every time I say something that isn't true for a joke!' β€” that's not what an unreality trigger is, some people do have trouble interpreting untrue statements for jokes and they do sometimes ask for accessibility accommodations, which may *also be something you can't accommodate* but is a completely separate thing)

2) mocking or disputing the idea that someone might be on the Internet whose sense of reality is fragile and easily-derailed.

Number 1 could genuinely be a misunderstanding; 'unreality' is an unfamiliar concept. Number 2 is straight-up saneism.

decided what to save up my bitcoin for: a jetpack! might take a while.

Thinking about this it seems a little strange to me that my very feminist mother is also the the role model in my life that probably thought me most behavior patterns that I know identify as toxic masculinity and try to get rid of.

I am fine with my body and my πŸ† and stuff, but if I could pick a body for the next time I get reborn, I really would prefer to be a girl.

I think my mother would have preferred to get a baby girl.

I fished all of my weed.

Now I am back to smoking pure hash in a small pure metal pipe. No filters.

My bong broke. That's what happens to glass bongs sooner or later. That's probably good for me. My tolerance is far to fucking high.

I am a lot more tempted to follow an account if they have an attractive female face for a profile picture, and I feel kind of.... I don't know... I don't want that to be a factor, but apparently I can not get the bias of being sexually attracted to women out of my behavior.

Sex is a weird thing. I don't like it. Or, better: I don't like that I like it.

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