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It's another wonderful, stupendous, gold-plated day here at the White House. I've been fielding calls all morning from foreign leaders telling me what an amazing job I'm doing with this Whoo doggie virus.
"Sir, I can't believe ANYONE could ever be as amazing and fantastic as you are! You're saving the world!"

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@AgentCarter_SSR
My ego is spectacular. I have the best, most terrific ego. Yet, I am still humble in ways that you little people will never understand, because I'm a very smart guy, Ivy League education. The best words. Bigly stable genius, I am.
@stux

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@IronMan
Yes. My opponent sleepy, creepy, beepy, teepee, fleepy Joe. He's not high-energy enough to do the important things, like sniff incessantly and suggest injecting household cleansers to combat the Corona Virus.

My coronation ... err ... convention is terrific.
My son's girlfriend gave a classy, wonderful speech where she absolutely didn't seem like a shrieking lunatic ... and it's just been up, up, up from there.
Sleepy, Beepy, Fleepy Joe won't know what hit him when every member of the Trump family who hasn't written a book about me makes a hostage video ... I mean speech at the convention.

Sleepy treepy peepy steepy fleepy Joe has finally picked his running mate ... Phony Kamala. She's really a terrible person who was rude to ol' Fleepy ... she's so terrible, I gave her $6,000 for her various campaigns. She's THAT bad.

Remember, everyone ... "absentee" voting (which is what your Favorite President does) is wonderful, classy, and terrific.
Voting by mail is, by definition, evil and from the very pit of hell, itself. Thank you!

My polls show me winning well over 350 electoral votes ... these published polls that show Sleepy, Creepy, Beep-Beepy Joe leading by 10 points are so unfair to your favorite president. Thank you!

It's just wonderful how sane and calm I am while I send in mercenaries to snatch American citizens off the street. I'm such a stable genius. Thank you!

Not Donnie :unverified: boosted

My poll numbers are good ... the latest polls show me with a 4,743% lead over Sleepy Creepy Fleepy Joe. In fact, 3,744% of poll people want me to arrest Fleepy Joe for having been part of the Kenyan Administration. Very bad.

Even though I'm not a politician, I'm the most successful politician, ever. I beat the Bush dynasty, the Clinton dynasty, the Obama dynasty, the Kennedy dynasty, the Ming the Merciless dynasty, the Reagan dynasty, the Trudeau dynasty, the Carrington dynasty ... just terrific, how many dynasties I beat.

I love Goya products. They're wonderful products. Everybody's been telling me this.
These products are so terrific that I decided to have a picture taken with them, smiling my sincerest, least fakey smile. Thank you!

Ya know, this whole "Trump Parody" thing is getting more and more difficult ... as The Runaway Id becomes less and less tethered to reality, it's becoming more and more difficult to sound "over-the-top" in comparison.

I wore a mask to Walter Reed ... I looked so awesome. Just like the Lone Ranger. Everybody says so. It was just terrific. Thank you!

After my wonderful, classy, leadershippy speech at Mount Ruschmoor, how could Anyone vote for Sleepy Creepy Deepy the Roadrunner is Meep Meepy Fleepy Joe?

I'm a very stable genius ... and I know everything. Except that Russians have been paying bounties to kill American servicemen. I wasn't briefed on that ... so it wasn't my fault. Or something.

I have the most fabulous poll for all of you.

How is my leadership?

I'm a great leader. Frankly, my leadership through this Hong Kong Flooey has been perfect. Everybody says it. Just terrific leadership.

I love differing opinions, as long as none of them differ with mine.

Old and busted: The Confederate flag needs to be taken down at the SC capitol building.

New hotness: SAVE ALL TEH CONFEDERATE STATUES!

If the lamestream media would stop reporting on Whoohoo flu cases, eleventy trillion people would come to my extremely important and useful rallies!

My rally in Tulsa was a great success! Any time you can get applause from 6200 yahoos for drinking a glass of water with one hand?

This is so unfair! The ramp was actually made of ice and axle grease, so I had to walk slowly so I didn't fall and give the lamestream media something to laugh at. Sleepy, creepy, bleepy, cryptkeepy, meepy, fleepy Joe is being very unfair! Thank you!

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