Me: The pain is unbearable. I need more morphine.

AI Nurse: Morphine does not exist. There are no medications that start with an M.

Me: That is wrong. Please give me something to help relieve the pain.

AI Nurse: Of course! You are a 185 pound male. An adult, male kangaroo weighs up to 190 pounds. Therefore, I will administer kangaroo medicine.