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Erin Kissane

like specifically a bunch of assertions about my character and weird name-calling but…surrounded by heart emojis and things? it feels culty in a way I find hard to explain

@kissane this is definitely the vibe I’ve gotten in person from nvc enthusiasts.

Petty brutal character assassination and then just absolute bafflement that anyone could be offended because like I’m just being honest and open about my experience. (But/and the whole “being honest” thing isn’t something they IME welcome from others…)

@kissane I think I would go with CREEPY not culty but I get the wibe.

@kissane
I have not had this •precise• experience, but it is closely adjacent to several things I have experienced or observed. Something about the way stated ideology gives psychological license for individual bad behavior. You are definitely on to something.

@kissane Reminds me a little of the r/FrenWorld subreddit. A bunch of the most heinous people on the internet roleplaying as cutesy harmless put-upons.

@kissane as someone who really values NVC... I find it surprising.

Not that someone professing it couldn't be aggressive. I'd just expect them to be so in a different way. I have seen a lot of convoluted phrasing, or faked interest. Statements about character or labeling are the exact things one would try to disguise if pretending/failing to apply NVC.

I'm intrigued about what you saw.. (But not enough to really want to see it, this random reply is the most bore I hope to ever bring to you 😅)

@kissane it's the act of only being acted on, never the actor and so never responsible for their outcomes. politeness masquerading as respect, niceness pretending to be kindness.