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"They're not invested in building a new concept in distributed social media is whatever nerdy people, like us, find interesting. ... They want social media that isn't hostile or toxic or whatever they're running away from."
This is the problem, you're treating these as two unrelated things, when in reality they are the same thing.
The reason this place is less toxic is because it is on many servers, and because it has various anti-addictive features.