What did one DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!

What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.

What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? A dirty double-crosser.

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.

Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first.

What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? A dirty double-crosser.

The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it.

What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof.

Why do bees hum? They don’t remember the lyrics!

What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.

Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.

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