I'm depressed right now. I hate myself for making myself go through this. I could've been just fine and not have to worry about all this stuff.
It started off as a thought experiment, and now it's genuinely eating me alive.
But also, how “normal” I felt before all this happened? I don't know.
@avalos cis people don't have such powerful feelings towards these kinds of thoughts. It's a struggle for sure, but at some point, repression is worse.
@snarkyerica The point is… this wasn't a struggle a week ago! 😭 I don't even remember what I felt like a week ago, honestly. I feel like I turned myself into an egg artificially. 😭 None of what I've gone through has felt natural.
@snarkyerica Though, suddenly at times I feel like it's always been there, and it's a lot more natural than I thought.
