Media: “Hey, Facebook, your products are making people feel bad about themselves, according to your own studies. This is #1001 reason why we think you're putting profit over people. What do you have to say about it?”

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Meanwhile, internal PR discussion at Facebook goes: “shit, people are starting to think we don't care about people, which is true, but we must act as if we did. We won't fix any of that, because our money depends on making people feel bad about themselves so they buy stuff.

Hmm, how do we make people think we're doing things right? Think, think… the thing to hide likes! Yes! We know perfectly fine it didn't work, but it's all we've got, so let's use that. Also, let's kinda say Instagram is bad (because we can't deny it at this point), and justify its evil saying Instagram is also good.

Let's also say we will make tweaks to our algorithms so they are less harmful. We won't, but it will serve as a temporary distraction. They won't be able to prove it anyway, as long as we don't give our detailed proprietary top secret research data. If they keep asking for it, let's just say it will hurt people's privacy, as if we cared about that.”

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Facebook PR response: “here at Facebook, our top priority is to make Instagram a safe space for everyone to interact, have fun and create meaningful relationships. Although here at Facebook we are aware of the consequences Instagram has over teenagers, we at Facebook also think Instagram has also been a positive force in people's lives.

Nonetheless, we at Facebook have created tools to help people protect from bullying, such as hiding likes in posts. We at Facebook are also working on improving our algorithm so that Instagram users get distracted from topics that might affect their mental health, as soon as we at Facebook detect they are looking at them repeatedly.

We at Facebook do that because all we care about here at Facebook is the happiness and well being of our Instagram users.

We at Facebook will find ways to hand researchers more detailed data on our research in ways that don't affect Instagram users' privacy.“

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