Large companies' PR staff when caught undeniably doing evil things: “we reviewed our data and turns out we at [X evil corporation] have been doing [Y thing] for [Z time] indeed. We at [X] have not handled things properly. We at [X] will conduct an extensive internal investigation, so we at [X] can figure out ways to help improve [Y] situation; because at [X], our top priority is [Y] and we at [X] will work hard to make sure [Y] does not happen again.”

What they really mean: “shit, we've been caught, but we will pretend we didn't know about it and it was an accident, and make everyone think it will require a lot of work to fix things, even though they were intentional and we could easily stop doing them. People will soon forget about it and move on, and we won't fix shit because our real top priority is our reputation, money and power.”

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