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"...I recommend this job to anyone who is looking for a dynamic, fast-paced work environment."
OK listen. Doll.
NO ONE is looking for a dynamic, fast-paced work environment in 2024. We are exhausted. Get in your DeLorean and take that attitude back to 1984.
@_L1vY_
What this is saying is, “we need doers, not thinkers”
@_L1vY_ Mother is right
◯ 
@_L1vY_ I've never worked in an office job, but waiting tables was dynamic and fast paced. In practice that meant you either had a million things to do all at once, or long stretches of aimless nothing. Either way you got yelled at for it.
@_L1vY_ Cocaine is way too expensive now to keep up that energy
@_L1vY_ I have an impression that the "fast-paced work environment" demand from executives and management is a holdover from the 80's and 90's when the cocaine and amphetamines were flowing through the halls of business.
Nowadays, it's less cocaine and more unauthorized use of prescriptions such as Adderall, Ritalin, Provigil (Modafinil), Ketamine, LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, and others.
https://hbr.org/2016/05/like-it-or-not-smart-drugs-are-coming-to-the-office
https://oshwiki.osha.europa.eu/en/themes/review-future-work-performance-enhancing-drugs
https://www.hrmagazine.co.uk/content/features/the-rise-of-performance-enhancing-drugs
@_L1vY_ nah, dynamic and fast-paced is code for "we only hire young people". I thought phrases like that were banned nowadays.
@_L1vY_ Testifckinfy.
@L1vY@mstdn.social
BTW - "fast-paced" means you have to be snorting coke to keep up with the 60-hour work weeks. Otherwise you're fired for being lazy.
@L1vY@mstdn.social Yeah. And they'll snort some coke while they're at it.
I love all these fake reviews because companies pay employees to write them.
We had a sheet in the break room that was advertising GoodRx or something like that.
"Having trouble being able to afford prescriptions?"
My mouth dropped open.
So I scrawled across the sheet (How bout better health insurance?!?)
I noticed the sheet was torn down just before all the corporate executives came to visit our site.
@_L1vY_
I've never seen a job advertised as "stable & boring" but fuck if it wouldn't get attention.
@L1vY@mstdn.social @Rob_T_Firefly
yep
"dynamic"
: "we can't agree on goals so you'll be chasing the bosses' whims all day every day"
"fast-paced"
: "we can't prioritize so basically everything is on fire all day every day"
@_L1vY_ “Dynamic, fast-paced” is code for “disorganized to the point of chaos and we have no idea of what we’re doing.”
@_L1vY_
Dynamic should mean it is sometimes fast and sometimes slow. If it is always fast, that isn't dynamic!
@_L1vY_ DeLoreans and CyberTrucks are both made from unpainted stainless steel. Coincidence?
)}] @huxley @_L1vY_
The main difference is that DMC got the panel fabrication done by a machine shop (with a German parent company) who knew what they were doing:
https://www.delorean.ie/lapple.html
"It’s a very permanent and very strong material, but the difficulties in production are horrendous."
"There were a lot of saftey issues as we progressed which had to be resolved which changed the position of some features, so anything pressed and still in stock at that stage would have been scrapped"
@_L1vY_ Do not ever make the mistake of making a job your entire life. Go home be with your family more. One of my mistakes I regret.
@_L1vY_ Also, we translate this woo-woo in plain English: "You'll be given loads of work and will be told it is up to you to "manage" you time so that you meet up the numerous deadline we will set out for you.
Answering to emails in the wee hours is to be expected.
Salary won't be that great. You will work in a loud open space as this is the dynamic working environment we offer. We will brush off any complaints regarding working conditions as we are merely providing what you are looking for."
@_L1vY_ West Wing walk-and-talk-ass job listing
@L1vY@mstdn.social
Bring on the "Calm, low-pressure work environment" gigs.
If you see the words "challenging work" or "dynamic fast paced environment" in a job posting, ...
translate it into "poorly managed, understaffed, unpaid overtime, low wages, slack safety standards, high employee churn, and toxic work environment."
@_L1vY_ I love job descriptions these days. They contain everything but the actual salary. But they do sometimes include things like: free parking, snacks, good work/life balance.
"We're like a family here! Money should not be the main concern..."
Yeah, no. My family does not add Jira tasks on Saturdays.
@Vonskinnback @_L1vY_ well, I guess every family has that one uncle that avoids everyone else.
@_L1vY_ "Must enjoy wearing many 'hats'"....
Nah. I only like wearing one hat at a time, thanks.
@UtilityNerd @marisa @_L1vY_
I have a fine collection of hats (and t-shirts, and mugs) from companies that don't exist anymore.
@_L1vY_ We weren't looking for it in '84, either, but all the listings said that, so we caved and ate $2.49 happy meals served from a dynamic, fast-paced work environment.
@_L1vY_
Fast-paced and dynamic usually means HR are spending every hour God sends frantically trying to replace the people who quit either burned out or pissed off.
@_L1vY_ fast paced and dynamic means we refuse to hire the amount of staff necessary so you will do the job of 2-3 people for a paycheck of one and be prepared for all nighters and working weekends.
@JoBlakely @_L1vY_ Some day, I'd like to wear just one hat instead of many hats. That would be nice.
That's too dang familiar.
@_L1vY_
Dynamic, fast paced = we make random, chaotic decisions and changes and blame you for the failure rather than acknowledge we don't know what we're doing.