Robin Hood boosted

Showing up to the monkey pox vaccine clinic with an iced coffee so they KNOW

“What brings you to the vacuum store today?”

“I sucked an open bottle of lavender oil into my vacuum, and now every time I use it the smell is so powerful I have to go lie down”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“Last week a lady came in because she sucked up the molten contents of an entire scented candle”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

Showing up to the monkey pox vaccine clinic with an iced coffee so they KNOW

Robin Hood boosted
Robin Hood boosted
Robin Hood boosted

@RobinHood Still need to finish gently bullying one of my pets into adding one of those little yellow vests to its VR avatar.

Robin Hood boosted
Robin Hood boosted

My core aesthetic is Miss Marple if she was a former assassin

Robin Hood boosted

Thankfully The Doomsday Clock never made it to midnight, regrettably neither did the Everything’s Ok Clock

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I need a reverse Amber Alert that just tells me when everything is mostly fine

Trump visited my workplace once and I was told not to come in that day and I was like, it’s the shitposts isn’t it?

Robin Hood boosted
Robin Hood boosted

My core aesthetic is Miss Marple if she was a former assassin

Robin Hood boosted
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