Rob from the rich, give to the poor
Keep your chin up, one day there'll be happiness again
The point of survival is to help
Showing up to the monkey pox vaccine clinic with an iced coffee so they KNOW
“What brings you to the vacuum store today?”
“I sucked an open bottle of lavender oil into my vacuum, and now every time I use it the smell is so powerful I have to go lie down”
“Last week a lady came in because she sucked up the molten contents of an entire scented candle”
Guys in racer-back tanks
@RobinHood Yeah I'd buy that
@RobinHood i know at least two people like this
@RobinHood Still need to finish gently bullying one of my pets into adding one of those little yellow vests to its VR avatar.
@RobinHood This is way hornier than it should be.
Crop-top tank that says “service dog”
My core aesthetic is Miss Marple if she was a former assassin
@RobinHood When would you ever receive one, though?
Thankfully The Doomsday Clock never made it to midnight, regrettably neither did the Everything’s Ok Clock
I need a reverse Amber Alert that just tells me when everything is mostly fine
Trump visited my workplace once and I was told not to come in that day and I was like, it’s the shitposts isn’t it?
what gender symbol is this
LoFi lambs screaming to relax to
@RobinHood ...whaddaya mean "if" ??
3D printing a toot
imagine boosting your own toots
A general-purpose Mastodon server with a 1000 character limit.