Pinned toot

If you dislike someone, dislike them alone.

Stop trying to recruit others to dislike them with you.

Pinned toot

You stay in your corner of the internet and I’ll stay in mine

If you aren't plotting how to kill your personal trainer and make it look like an accident, you aren't me.
Shhh, don't tell.

Ever read something so dumb and wish dinosaurs would come back just to keep that person busy?

I think cauliflower needs to just settle the fuck down.

I would like to skip tomorrow & go straight on to sunday. please.

There will always be that one song you dislike, playing in your head when you seriously want to study.

Women over 40 who don't wear panties, what do you do when you sneeze?

What's the difference between having bird flu and having swine flu?

One requires tweetment the other requires oinkment.

I wonder why does the whole world turn against you when you grow a big ass beard 🤷🏻‍♂️

Someday I hope I realise I'm middle aged. And yet young at heart and in awe of love and accept the heartbreaks that come along.

Only 6 days in 2020 and the world looks worse than ever.

You never know what's happening while you're in it.

Why shy away or be sacred of bathing in Winters when your bathrooms are equipped with boilers or geysers.?

The amount of money that is in your bank at the time of death, is the extra work you did which wasn’t necessary.

To take stand, I'll have to choose a side, and wise man once said,
choosing sides is just being part of the problem and not the solution.

I wanna be one of those people who have a tissue box in their car and really feel like I have my life together

I uninstalled tinder way back and admitted to myself that i will never ever find my soulmate

If flowers had cameras, they will be taking pictures of you

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